Fear of Failure
Heal Others, Heal Yourself - Dr. Eric Pearl
Where did all of that fear of failure go?
Can you name a book that has completely transformed your life? Most people can look back and name at least one. I have several and have even listed them on the back of my business card. The transformation I experienced from the content of those books continues to transpire each day. I will be referring to two of those books as I write today.
I have accomplished many goals and achievements in my life by setting my sight on something and then with all of my force pushing through until I received the satisfaction of completion. I did this with my training in TCI (Therapeutic Crisis Intervention) Train-The-Trainer program with Cornell University, moving beyond the limitations of my lack of education in this field, to become the trainer for Social Workers, Counselors, and Psychologists. Again I pushed through to become a "Certified Medical Practice Administrator" with the majority of the candidates having an advanced degree in this field. Somehow I have always figured out a way to teach myself and absorb knowledge from my interactions with others.
I mention these accomplishments not to boast but to give you a feel for my tenacity when I want something. The interesting part is, as I chalked up my accomplishments and climbed my personal corporate ladder I was abandoning myself. The two things I wanted to do more than anything in the world were to create art and write. For some unknown reason, I had convinced myself that I was not worthy or capable of doing either and most importantly that I could not make a decent living pursuing those passions. I dabbled in creative projects only to discount them as "not being good enough". I don't know who they weren't good enough for except for my ego. Instead of finding the joy of creation, I was beating myself with thoughts of inadequacy. Then all of that changed!
On January 1, 2015, I listened to my first musical rendition of the lessons from "A Course in Miracles" created by James Twyman. I spent the rest of that year listening and practicing each lesson. When the year was up I purchased the six-disc condensed version of the lessons and I listened to them in the car as I commuted around the Chicagoland area. I desired no other commuting music but those six transformative discs.
While on vacation, in November of that same year (2015), I received an energy healing known as a Reconnective Healing. I did not know what to expect and really had no perceived reason to do so. It was offered to me by my soul-sister niece Kim and I thought, "why not".
When I returned home I purchased the audio version of the book "The Reconnection - Heal Others Heal Yourself." -Dr. Eric Pearl. I was so taken by that book that I listened to it three times in one weekend.
Did you notice that I said "listen" in both examples? I did not read either book with my eyes, I listened to someone else's voice speak the words. I was absorbing information through an auditory interaction with both books. I find this fascinating. I don't know what it means but I do know that my strongest intuitive gift is clairaudience. This is how I access "Universal Knowledge."
Through those auditory interactions came the gifts. I heard the vibration of the ACIM Musical Lessons and KNEW that I could translate it onto a canvas. Stronger than the knowledge was the urge to do it NOW. Never before touching this medium, I converted 36 of those lessons into oil pastel paintings. Those vibrational energetic downloads came through in 30-60 minute sessions. I never once judge them, I just LOVED the process.
Then came the stories. I would hear/sense a story or a knowing and feel the intense urge to write it down. When I would go back and read them I would be astonished by the wisdom coming through. I had never dared to write or share my innermost intimate thoughts in written form. Now I was thrilled and moved to tears by what was coming forth and I was compelled to begin sharing those words with the world.
Much has transpired since then. I left my lucrative career to create a new way to interact in my world. I continue to create with paints, pens, words, vibrations, you name it, I am in a state of allowing.
Oh yeah here is another crazy evolution. I almost forgot to mention it. In my previous life as an administrator, I vehemently refused to do any Social Media and was very reluctant to participate in websites and email blasts because of a deep-seated fear of failure. Now I am all in. I create websites for small businesses, I am movin and grovin with my social media presence and I support others in creating their own presence. Who da Thunk!
Where did all of that fear of failure go? All in all, I have discovered that the more I am authentically me, following my passion and standing strong in my personal integrity, I align with Source Energy and connect to Divine Potentiality! There are no limits to what I can create except for the ones I place on myself. As I heal myself I become the healer of my world and anyone I enter into an authentic relationship with.
During the past seven months, I created a group of watercolors I call "The Characters." These characters have supported me in celebrating my life progress and in healing old and new wounds. In all of my creative work, there is a healing energetic vibration attached. As I sat in the Reconnective Healing frequencies in a self-healing interaction the characters came forth. The more I was struggling the funnier the characters became.
I now know that they were given to me to share with the world. I recently created a deck of cards with 36 images. These cards will be known as "Story Tellers." My vision is for these images to be used in a therapeutic setting as a tool to open a dialogue with children who are struggling with expressing their emotions and/or stories. The card deck does not have any words, just images so that the user has the freedom to create their own authentic story.
As you heal yourself, you create a space for others to heal. Self-care and Self-love are the catalysts for the salvation of our world.