"Help, I'm hanging here by a thread!" How many times have I felt this way? So often in my life, this was the main theme playing out repeatedly for a myriad of reasons.
Although I have come to know and accept that I am the director of my life, I still desire to say that others caused some of those instances; the egoic tendency to blame still lingers. Though with time, the blame game has softened.
My affinity towards the I AM was born during one of these frayed rope dark moments. What is a dark moment? For me, it is a time where I am saying a lot of, "are you effing kidding me" as I observe arrow after arrow pelting me. It makes me think of Ace Ventura's quote, "Three darts are too much!" These supposed arrows come in various forms; relationship discord or failure, financial struggles, personal attacks, failed attempts, illness or dis-ease, work conflict, you name it, whatever energetically feels like an arrow piercing your armor.
Another term for dark moments is grave times or gravity. It has taken me several years and a ton of soul searching to realize that each grave moment has been the energetic key or opening of my awareness and understanding to the I Am presence. This awareness has assured me that God (My Higher Power) is orchestrating ALL, even these dark moments. I need to be clear that I am not saying God is shooting these arrows, yet I believe it is ALL God. That seems to be a contradictory statement. You see, I don't think the arrows are punishments; I now experience them as moments to remember or wake-up calls pointing to my divinity. The arrows are a reflection of my energetic output or the energetic output of the collective consciousness. I understand the graveness to be the grace of God.
Now back to my affinity to the I AM. During a several-year-long dark moment, with the guidance of many teachers, I began observing how I used I am.
I am sad, broke, broken, lost, hurt, sick, ugly, fat, stupid. I was screaming, "I am not worthy," the most deadly of all internally and outwardly, in my actions, words, and inner dialogue.
As I professed my self defecating I am statements; my life showed me more and more reasons to believe them. I was in a self-destructive spiral, being pushed down down down by the gravity of it all. My salvation evolved when I saw this spiral of destruction and understood the power of the I AM—finally understanding that my words and inner dialogue and the emotions behind them have the power to propel my life's course. So, I took control and wrote my first I Am statement from a space of deep pain and need for change. It was more than just writing out a mantra or wish list; it was a call to action from my higher self. Ultimately, I remembered that I am one with the All That Is, and I accepted the power within. For years I would read this statement every morning and every night. I also had a copy at my desk at work. This proclamation became my GPS during the dark moments of grave times.
Some days it is harder to remember who I Am; when I forget, the grace of gravity comes to remind me.
A few days ago, I was gifted by the remembrance of those days and that moment of awakening. My dear friend and heroine of the "Shit Show" story from my book "The Universal Gravity Code – A Guide to Personal and Global Enlightenment" had an intense Ah-Ha moment. Over the past several years, she has allowed me to witness her soul's evolution process. On that day, I received an intuitive message from beyond and felt it was intended for her, so I sent it to her in a text. What transpired from there was miraculous. A while later, I received an intense text back from her containing words so powerful that I began to cry.
Even though she has heard of, created mantras, and intellectually understood the concept of I Am statements, her internal dialogue had not been in alignment. Finally, the gravity of her current situation came to the tipping point where poof she collapsed the energetic bubble of I am not enough and remembered and became the powerful force of her higher self. She embodied and energetically became a vibrational match to her words. Proclaiming "I Am Worthy!" She relinquished to the God-given power to be the director of her life. The power of her words emanated a shock wave whose ripples reached my soul.
For a moment, I wanted to share her exact written words to support others in finding their truth. They were so mighty and transformative to read. But then I had the realization that they are her power, and oh so very personal. Just as she had read and intellectually understood my, I Am statement, it wasn't until her gravity code had once again spiraled down that her I Am awareness was activated in her being, lifting her to a new level of understanding.
She felt it; hence she embodied it. She became the vibrational match.
As my understanding expands, I understand that it is through the allowing, surrender, and relinquishing that we are transformed. Allow gravity to be your guide.
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May the Grace of Gravity and its gifts raise you to new heights.